I recently discovered that I may be an Enneagram 3w4. The self-preserving achiever is the countertype and presents a bit differently than a stereotypical 4. Anyways, the achiever. I think ever since I was born, I felt that my worth has been measured by my accomplishments. My parents aspired for me to become a doctor. I worked hard to be first chair flute in band, just to name a few examples. Even when I was a cashier, I worked to get the top scans per minute. I am a hard worker, I am faithful, and committed.
Recently, I've been studying the book of Matthew and the first half of Chapter 6 basically pulled my sense of self-worth out from the bottom of my feet. The bible teaches that I am loved not for my works, but simply because I am being. And in fact, the chapter teaches us how what we do all comes down to intention. Am I doing things for my own glory, or God's glory?
So the next steps for now, I'm going to set aside intentional quiet times in the morning for me to re-learn who I am in God. If I am not a human doing, what is it about my human being that is so lovable?
