Lessons Learned from the Polls

I wrote this article as a knee jerk reaction, immediately after reading an article "Pope Benedict XVI Forbids Catholics from Voting for Hilary."

As you can see, it caused quite a stir among my facebook friends. Before I continue, I want to reiterate that I have faith in God that all life is created for a reason and that there are many options other than abortion that people can take. I don't believe that it should be used as contraception, but I feel like they should remain legal in the eyes of the law because not everyone feels the same way I do, and so I want to make sure that people don't have to resort to shady illegal abortion procedures. 

While this whole experience has been very eye-opening to me, I've also learned a few things along the way. 

1. Things are never so black and white. As much as people want things to be clear cut, I really feel that life is really depicted in grayscale. I tend to be a moderate when it comes to most things, so  I find myself straddling viewpoints, at times, feeling alienated. I learned that perhaps us moderates also tend to be more quiet about our opinions, so speaking up and receiving "likes" from people, along with supportive comments helped me feel a bit more normal. 

2. What bothers me the most is the fear that I am not being a true enough follower of Christ. Am I cheapening grace? For the past few years, I found it to be my mission to live my life being loving, helpful, and caring. But I also took some bold steps to break any stereotypes of Christians being narrow-minded and unforgiving. I always take it personally when a Christian group acts out in violence, or in unloving manners towards gays or Muslims. I know those people are not representative of Christianity as a whole, but I feel like there is still a general feeling about Christians being unforgiving and un-accepting.  So I feel like my way of spreading the gospel is to show love and understanding towards anyone I meet. Along they way, I've actually met some pretty interesting people with amazing stories to boot. 

3. There are so many issues out there that I have to really think and pray about. Immigration, death penalty, legalization of drugs, etc. I used to think I knew where I stood on issues like this, but with this election, I've learned that there are so many implications and nuances that go with a particular stance. When did life become so complicated. Sheesh! 

Mom Wandering

I explored Austin's downtown area with a recently made fellow mom friend this morning. We talked about our roots, how we met our spouses, you know, the usual small talk that moms use to gauge what topics are worth engaging in conversation.

While our conversation naturally covered quite an interesting range of topics,  I think one particular topic stood out to me as being very relevant to all stay at home moms starting their journey into motherhood: that is, transitioning from being a productive, work horse in the job force, which comes with recognition, and for the most part, monetary compensation; to a mom who daily faces all the doubts and guilt that comes from raising children.  Oh, and not to mention the obvious pay cut.

I get it. I used to be a middle school science teacher. When I left the profession right before the birth of my first child, I was at the top of my game: I was awarded teacher of the year; became a semi-finalist for the district's teacher of the year award; I was teaching, inspiring, and mentoring students -- making the world a better place, in my own tiny way.

Fast forward 4 months later, I was at home, with a tiny human whose survival depended 100% on me and my husband.

Suddenly it seemed as if life was put on hold. The hustle and bustle of lesson prep, conversations with students and colleagues all melted away and in its place a small, silent, bundle of life who simply viewed me as a walking set of udders. 

Life became EASY, which by EASY, I mean Tracy Hogg's Eat, Activity, Sleep and You Time schedule, which I repeated over and over each day. In the first few months, I felt like the Israelites from the book of Numbers, wandering in the wilderness for a long time, unsure what my life would be like a few months from those moments.  The first few months, I was seriously wondering, what my purpose was. Was I making a big difference? Could I be doing more if I were working instead of taking care of just one child?

But I know deep in my heart that God's will for me is to be at home with my children in this stage of life and that in the future, I will be back in the classroom, carrying out a different mission. Trust that God has already laid out your path and obey Him.

So in the meantime, if you are a mother who is struggling with a lack of self-worth, know that you are indispensable and that you are thriving in one of the most important jobs in the world: being a mom. The investment may be steep now, but the return, though delayed, will be great. Never feel like you are just a mom.

Oh, and a side note, I don't think wandering is a bad thing. The best way for me to learn the layout of a city is to wander around and get lost. You learn the traffic patterns, the side streets and where various things are located as you navigate yourself through the city. I'd say, during this time of being a full time mom, let yourself get lost and find your identity, refine your understanding of it.  If you figure out who you are as a person, when you finally get to your final destination, you'll be armed and ready to go.

An Intentional New Blog

From the time that my son Nathan was in my womb, I've kept a weekly blog, documenting these oh-so-precious moments that are so easily forgotten by a sleep deprived brain. At some point, I will need to respect the privacy of my children and close this chapter of my blogging "career" so I will be using this blog as an outlet to relieve my itch to process my thoughts, write them down, and share them with those who are interested.

I am a part of a Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS) group that meets twice a month. Today we had an amazing speaker, Susan Seay, come in to talk about Intentional Parenting. This talk really was a great wrap up to the latest self-discovery journey that I embarked on about 6 months ago. It all started with some "light reading" for a family cruise, but more on that later.

Seay defines intentional parenting as "a parenting approach for families who desire to live a life of purpose and meaning in spite of living in a busy, noisy, and chaotic world. They choose to live according to their God-given purpose and to resist the tempting distractions." You can view parenting as a spectrum, with intentional parenting on one side and "distracted" on the other.

Influenced by Pinterest pins, a whole slew of parenting books, and fear of judgement, I started out this gig 100% distracted, well, maybe 80%. In the next few posts, I'll share more about the moments where I transitioned from a distracted person to a more intentional individual.

Seay talked about three areas in our lives where we need to be intentional.

1. We should have a clear vision for our family. She had us add 10 years to our children's age and try to imagine what kind of person we would like to see, and then she extended that to the family.

2. We should focus our lives around a few core values. These core values will anchor us, and keep us from being too distracted from fulfilling God's purpose for us. Tentatively, ours are Love, Serve, Respect.

3. Be intentional in these areas of life: care taking; home management/maintenance; activities (outside the house); current issues or problems; and self care. While most of us are more gifted in one or more areas, I see the necessity of maintaining a healthy balance between all of them. Confession: I definitely need to work more on the home management/maintenance department.

Revelations 4:11 reminds us that "Worthy are You, our Lord and our God, to receive glory and honor and power; for You created all things, and because of Your will they existed, and were created." We were intentionally created and are intentionally loved. Let's try to be more intentional on our end, especially in all that we do.