Unconditional Love

 If I were to name 1 thing that I learned from COVID, it would be that we are worthy to loved unconditionally.  

The aha moment happened when I was having a text conversation with a recently formed friendship. She had just gotten out of a messy relationship and we were talking about how we can so easily lose our true selves in relationships. And then she says something along the lines of, "I don't know why, but I always make excuses for being treated badly and think of what I can do to make them love me more." 

[insert record scratch] Hold up. At this moment, this truth popped into my head and I frantically typed it back. 

"You shouldn't have to earn anyone's love. Love is unconditional. If you feel like you have to earn it, it's borderline abusive." 

Further reflecting about this statement I feel like God has been trying to teach us this lesson from the very beginning. As a kid we learned about God's "unconditional" love in the sense that He will love us even if we mess up. But what if unconditional also means just being yourself and not having to earn or please someone else to feel loved? 

If COVID didn't happen, I don't think I would've realized this. I've spent the past year digging into the enneagram to find out who I am inside. I feel like I've always just gone with the flow and agreed with what others say. But during this time, I've learned a lot about myself: my preferences; causes that I'm passionate about; habits of thought and so much more. I feel like I finally can describe who I am...and it also has helped validate these because I see so much of myself in Hannah. In fact, sometimes I will take an interesting characteristic of Hannah and see if I've somehow repressed that over the years. 

 Racism, transphobia, homelessness, and the pro-life vs pro-choice debate have been flooding the headlines recently. I have friends on both sides of the spectrum for all of these issues. I've been examining my values to figure out where I fall in the debate and over and over again, it always boils down to love. We are all flawed in some way, shape or form, but if we live our life giving love unconditionally, and convince ourselves that we are unconditionally enough, enough to deserve to be loved, just as we are, we will be living as God taught us to live.